Wisconsin in a Nutshell (or should I say "in a Cheese Wax"?)

1) Expect many roadside attractions. (i.e. The Wisconsin Dells. Jellystone Park. The House on the Rock, a very boring place that sells CHEESE)

2) Expect gigantic statues at nearly every highway gas station. (i.e. a giant orange moose, a huge mouse holding some cheese, an enormous man cradling a sausage and cheese, a jumping deer, etc). I apologize for not taking photos of each of these ... maybe next time.

3) Expect major highway construction.

4) Expect a genuine love for CHEESE. And not just any cheese, but CHEESE in ALL CAPS on a giant sign facing the highway again and again, exit after exit.

5) And then expect to buy some of that cheese because the smaller (but still fairly large) sign lures you in with its hilarity.



6) Expect to choose the cheese sticks over the curds, because the curds look nasty.

7) Expect it to be delicious.

Putting 26 in Perspective

As if I'm not having a hard enough time dealing with my entrance into the middle ages, Facebook seems to have taken it upon themselves to remind me.

Every click. Every ad. 26. I guess these days only 26 year-olds are eligible for car insurance. And Victoria's Secret shopping sprees. And Mac products. And enrollment at the University of Phoenix.

I suppose I should be thankful. Glad that I just so happen to be at the perfect age. But I'm not glad. I'm not thankful. Because I'm getting old.

To put my age in perspective, I though I'd compile a list of individuals with whom I would have gone to high school had we been in the same school zone (and social status):

Sasha Cohen -
Born: October 26, 1984
Difference: Younger than I by 10 months
Translation: She's already proven people my age do retire (and then pretend it never happened) . . . THAT'S how old I am.

Lady Gaga -
Born: March 28, 1986
Difference: Younger than I by 2 years, 3 months.
Translation: We would never have even been present at the same prom . . . THAT'S how old I am.

Prince William of Wales -
Born: June 21, 1982
Difference: Older than I by 1 year, 6 months
Translation: If I were British and certain royalty dead, I could be Queen . . . THAT'S how old I am.

Britney Spears -
Born: December 2, 1981
Difference: Older than I by 2 years
Translation: She's been divorced twice and has two kids . . . THAT'S how old I am.

Jay Cutler -
Born: April 29, 1983
Difference: Older than I by 8 months
Translation: If I had my act together I could be quarterback of a so-so pro football team. (This just may be the saddest of all)


Beyonce. Justin Timberlake. Jodie Sweetin. The list goes on. And on. And the only good part about it is the small satisfaction one gets out of knowing that we all could have chilled in study hall or suffered through PE together (except for Sasha, of course).

I won't even get into the list of peeps who are too young to have gone to High School with me . . .

Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner (he's like 9 years younger than I, by the way) . . .

Nurses (IN NEED)

It wasn't until today, that I heard of the plight of American nurses. They are in need. They are in Desperate Need. And to aid them in their suffering, you and I have the opportunity to join their ranks. It won't be pretty, but it will be well compensated.

So, what say you?

Huh?
What was that?

You don't want to spend 24 months in training only to find yourself in need?

That's okay. There's an even better deal out there...

If you're between 25 and 29, you get to cut that learning time in half and make more than ever. And that whole being in need thing? Turns out this deal doesn't involve nurses in need, but rather a need of nurses!

Who would have thought?!
I'll see you in the ranks.


This has been brought to you by AdVantage - making sense of ads since 2009.

Called to be an secretary

It's funny how your calling can hit you at any moment out of nowhere. Mine hit me whilst checking my Gmail:

Why, yes! Yes, I've always wanted to become an secretary! I cannot think of anything more fulfilling or thrilling than being an secretary. As a young girl, I dreamed of one day going to school and learning how to become an helper of many sorts. An typer, an filer, an scheduler--AN SECRETARY.

And now? Now, I have an key. And I'm going to unlock the door to my future.

Better write a check for my fee Info!