Monday, April 25, 2011

nubbin' : living a life with nubs

Imagine how much you enjoy and/or tolerate talking to me.

Now imagine how much worse that experience could be if I had little nubs for teeth.

Ladies and gentlemen, that is the fate we all may face if my teeth do not start cooperating.

Almost a year ago, I had some cavities filled. Shortly after, I realized that one of the teeth that had been worked on hurt every time I bit down. I went back to the dentist, and he said that it wasn’t anything alarming. My bite just needed to be adjusted.

No prob, right? Wrong.

I’ve been back THREE times in the past year TO GET MY TOOTH FILED. Yes, filed like a fingernail.

And each time I go, I swear I come out of there with what can only be described as a phantom tooth -- a tooth that I imagine is larger than it really is (because it has in fact been whittled down). Three times this has happened. Which means THRICE my tooth has shrunken in size. And this time was the worst of them all ... I swear I'm beginning to feel an opening where my teeth aren't even pressing together anymore. The nub is on its way.

Needless to say, I am so ready for this madness to end ... for all of our sakes. 

Because I'm pretty sure we'd all prefer that I NOT look like Gollum in the near future. 

P.S. If this post title results in a ton of search engine hits I'm going to laugh so very hard it just may re-set my bite.

P.P.S.S. Points to the person who can come up with the best vampire joke!


  1. ok i have one irst this is my second time having no cavities. BUT i have to go next friday to have 3 teeth sealed. (and im not talking about the singer SEAL) they put this sealant on the enamel of the tooth to prevent cavities) all my sealent in 15 years have worn out) so i have to do that, and then in 5 months go back for a check up all over again so i feel your pain)

    here is my joke at least you arent Edward he would have to go into bailout mode during his eye examination. I bet he would need laser surgery because of all the sparkle. I wonder if they have coverage for sparkle so at least being filed down on your teeth makes you a Jillian Michaels vampire because you are "sliming down on the diet of a vampire" LOL ok i hope i didnt fail

  2. Actually, my neighbor Anne did a pretty good joke when she invaded my apartment, holding a jar of garlic.

  3. Hmm. Don't eat any stake.

    As in steak, you know? ::wince::

    Do I get a half point for that one? No? Drat...