If I Were to Design a Miniatures Game

Miniatures gaming is a freaking awesome business. I mean where else can you charge $40 for a bunch of tiny pieces of plastic that the customers will not only assemble themselves, but then spend hours and hours painting? It's genius.

The cutie below costs $25 and probably stands at 2 inches. He comes as a sheet of plastic in which you pop out the pieces, assemble, and then paint and paint and paint (with the help of a magnifying glass, no less).

So after watching Tad throw his money at such a hobby, I decided I needed to create my own miniatures game and dupe unsuspecting gamers into buying my lazy plastic.

Now, as a former marketer, I've noticed a few things about the gaming world...

1) Nearly every game title contains one of the following words: Dungeon, Quest, Battle, War

2) The act of assembling and painting is supposedly as fun as actually playing the game itself (some gamers will simply assemble and paint without any desire to play!)

3. Gamers are easily excitable with anything Dragon

So, I introduce to you my miniatures game:

DRAGON DUNGEON BATTLE QUEST WARS

In this miniatures game, not only do you get to assemble your dragons, but you can choose your unique look! That's right! Each of the four dragon components (head, body, wings, tail) come sold separately. This means not only will you be spending that much more money, but you'll get to have a completely unique dragon!

Select numerous power card combinations to give your dragon one-of-a-kind feat combos and abilities (cards sold separately in packs).

AND add plenty of magic to the mix by buying, assembling, and painting your very own Dragon Master! (Dragon Masters boost the dragon's abilities for as long as the masters are in play!)

RESERVE YOUR DRAGON PIECES OF PLASTIC TODAY and you'll be battling other dragon in search of dunegon treasure in approximately 40 labor hours!

Dragon Head (20 models to choose from): $25

Dragon Body (20 models to choose from): $25

Dragon Wings (20 models to choose from): $25

Dragon Tail (20 models to choose from): $25

Dragon Master (10 different masters to choose from!): $30

Total before paints, paint supplies, and terrain doo-dads: $130 (and you MUST have all these components before you even THINK about playing).

Tad and I joked about my game idea for awhile.

Then, he showed me this from Kickstarter...

All I know is that they could have chosen a way better name.

hot shots

Tad and I are watching season 1 of this reality show called Top Shot. It's where some of the nation's best marksmen compete to be the best shot in the west.

Well this one particular episode was about trick shooting. They had to shoot a bottle behind them by placing the gun on their shoulder and using a mirror. They also had to throw a cabbage in the air (not too high, mind you) and shoot it before it hit the ground.

After watching this, I had one thought, "Big freaking deal."

To prove my point, I had Tad pull out his Nerf guns and we rigged up a few household items to see whether we had what it takes. And let me tell you, we are awesome. So awesome, that we should go on tour and Pop Tarts should sponsor us.

Here's the recap:

Amanda started out with the cabbage toss (which soon became the pop tarts box toss). Please ignore the mess in the background, because that's just not important. What you SHOULD notice, is the pop tart box, floating in the air, waiting to be shot dead.

And will Amanda shoot it? Well, the picture tells us that she didn't make it THIS time, but by the fifth try, Amanda was consistently hitting the Pop Tart box.

Notice the dart in mid-air! And what concentration Amanda brings to the sport!! AND THAT STANCE! Mo Vaughn would be so jealous.

To achieve the behind-the-back shot, Tad rigged up a stand of boxes (probably boxes from the hallway that you saw in the previous picture). Then, the unfortunate Pop Tarts box was placed on top. Using a L'oreal compact, Tad was able to successfully spot the box and blow it off its stand. Amanda achieved this as well.

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Tad and Amanda Show Big Shots that Their Shots Aren't As Big as They May Think. Join us next time when they walk on burning coals!

unstoppaBULL

Growing up in the Chicago suburbs, basketball was always a very happy thing. Michael Jordan was in his prime (when was he NOT in his prime?). And I watched with my family as our Bulls secured two three-peats and the best record ever in NBA history. 72-10. I even have the t-shirt to prove it.

I don't remember ever feeling scared or anxious or worrisome. It wasn't a matter of whether they would win ... it was just a matter of when. They never let us down. Ever. Well, except when they would retire and then un-retire ... but even that was as though they were undoing whatever they had previously done to lose our trust.

It was an epic time of victory and awesomeness.

But since moving to Indiana, I realize that not everyone feels the same way.

Here, I introduce you to a disgruntled Pacers fan.

His name is Josh. I've featured him here before.

You see, Josh is sad, because his whole life he rooted for the Pacers. And every time they had a shot at the championship, those darned Bulls knocked them out of the running.

Needless to say, Josh is a bit bitter. But he's not the only one. I have another friend ... a Cavs fan, who also shares in the hatred. Apparently, it's a serious problem for NBA fans across the nation.

When I first heard of this Bull-hatred, I really couldn't believe it. I seriously had gone through my entire life, assuming that everyone was in love with the Bulls. I mean, who could hate them?! But of course that wasn't the case. Many people hated them and were wishing them to die, while I was praying that not only would they rule the world, but that Michael Jordan would actually grow wings and fly.

Bottom line ... While my childhood memories were full of wins and beat-downs and great moments, theirs were full of losses and beatings and embarrassing moments.

It's not fair. It's not right. But that's the way it is.

And that's why we're here, 15 years later. 2011 NBA Playoffs. And the Bulls and Pacers are at it again.

Apr 16 @ Bulls		Q1	Q2	Q3	Q4									TOTAL
	Pacers	27	28	24	20									99
	Bulls	23	28	20	33									104

Sorry, Josh. Looks like some dreams just aren't meant to come true.

My Pocketbook

Colleen over at Designing dna tagged me in this fun little game where we show who we are ... through our possessions.

So, with no further adieu, I present the contents of my purse:

You are all so very lucky that I happen to be carrying the purse with the LEAST AMOUNT OF JUNK INSIDE. And while I could bore everyone with an endless photo stream of all the loose receipts and business cards and papers that float around in my OTHER purses, I figured the few odd items in my current bag would create enough amusement.

Even if they require some explanations.


A. Wilton Mint Crunch Sprinkles (because I took them to a friend's house to make mint brownies which were amazing and haven't thought to put them away)
B. An envelope that includes my entire identity (because we just got a new insurance plan at work and I needed to fill a bunch of stuff out)
C. Checkbook (because sometimes I need to write checks)
D. Bare Minerals Lip Gloss in Rose (because I got it for free when I bought some of my wedding make up from Ulta and I always think I'll wear it even though I never do. Ever)
E. Cell phone (an Env2 or however it's spelled)
F. Dunkin' Donuts (because I run on Dunkin')
G. A Turkish coin purse (because it makes me feel cultured when I use it)
H. A wallet (because I need something else to hold all the cards I don't use ever)
I. A scissors (can't remember how that got there...but I was quite happy to discover its existence after thinking it had vanished for eternity)
J. A cigarette case from Forever 21 (because I just couldn't find anything else as awesome looking to hold my camera)

Tagging:
All the ladies (or men) who read this blog every now and then and have blogs, Flickr accounts, or something similar of their own AND who also carry purses.

I'm talking about you, Meghan! And you, Katie! And you, Sara!
And the rest of you who read this blog under the cover nightfall ... it's time to show yourself!

Trying to Relate to Olympic Dissapointment

To the Korean speed skater who missed out on a silver medal because his teammate, Lee Ho-Suk, got greedy and tried to pass him and ended up making them both fall and lose,

Wow. That really sucks, man. I hate when stuff like that happens.

I mean one time when I was in college we had a huge all-campus event where we all went rollerskating and at one point in the evening the DJ declared there would be a race, so I was like "Ok. I'm pretty fast. I'll compete" and made my way out to the floor.

There were about five or seven or ten of us out there and when we took off I realized that I really was faster and more stable than most of my competitors and that I had a really good chance of winning. So I was about to make my move for the lead when out of nowhere this girl who obviously had no idea what she was doing came flailing from behind me and GRABBED ON TO ME SO SHE WOULDN'T FALL. It rattled me, threw me off balance and slowed me down while practically knocking me over.

And there went my dreams of winning the 200-meter skate at the South Side Roller Dome.

All I can say is hang in there and keep your head. There will be a next time.

All the best,
Amanda

A Gold Medal for Reading

Every Olympics, I go through a sort of funk. The type of funk that is typically reserved for a 50-year old male who's facing a sort of mid-life crisis (complete with a yacht, motorcycle and pair of deerskin chaps).

Don't get me wrong. I completely enjoyed the Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding saga. (My fingers were crossed for Tonya--I found her to be prettier), and watched EVERY MINUTE of the 1996 US Women's Gymnastics team competing in Georgia (and kicking butt!), feeling nothing short of happiness and pride.

But I also felt something else.

The funk officially hit during the 1998 Winter Olympics when Tara Lipinski blew everyone's mind and took home the women's figure skating gold.

And I wanted to die.

Here was this tiny girl, only a year or so older than I, wearing an Olympic gold medal around her neck BECAUSE SHE WAS THE BEST FIGURE SKATER IN THE WORLD.

And me? The most I ever had to show for my efforts was a free personal pan pizza coupon from Pizza Hut that I won because I was able to read 20 books over the summer.

Leave me alone. I'm pacing myself. I mean, there has to be something wrong with achieving your life's goal at eighteen years of age.

Ask any high school basketball team captain.

Or Evgeni Plushenko*.


*At 19 he won the silver medal in men's figure skating at the 2002 olympics in Salt Lake. At 23 he won the gold. He then retired.

But now he's back. And 27 years old.

Two medals? At least I've never retired.

Case Update: Modern Warfare 2

Last night on Unsolved Mysteries, we reported events surrounding Tad's strange departure and plans to acquire a video game. Since, more events have unfolded, adding to the mysterious happenings surrounding this seemingly hypnotic game.

1) Tad has been able to operate on two hours worth of sleep.
2) He has already developed pet phrases for the game's features, referring to the blood spatter that appears on the screen when the player is wounded as "Ketchup Face"--a term he devised in an attempt to trump his wife's inevitable mockery of the feature (she refers to the old wounded screen as "bloody eyeballs")

Yet in all this, a few of the mysteries surrounding the case have been answered. Why did he dress in camo? Why did he stand in line for so long? Why was it imperative for him to be there at precisely the time the game was released?

I'll be darned if I know, but it all resulted in him 'winning' GameStop's Modern Warfare 2 countdown clock due to the fact that he was the ONLY person dressed in costume.

Unsolved Mysteries: Modern Warfare 2

At 20:45:00, Tad, decked out in full camo, left to sit outside of GameStop in anticipation of the release of Modern Warfare 2 at midnight.

Friends and family are left with these questions:

1) Why is it that Tad, who must routinely be reminded to shower, did so without coercion for tonight's big event?
2) When did said event become enough reason for him to take off an entire day of work?
3) How is it that he will be able to tolerate standing in line for three hours to get this game when standing in line at Wal-Mart for ten minutes is out of the question?
4) Where exactly has the money come from to pay for his XBox Live subscription, considering neither his wife nor friends passed him funds.

And lastly,
5) How long before his wife is annoyed at some aspect of the game and demands that he play it quietly or minimally when present?

If you, or anyone you know has information that could lead to toward answers to these questions, comment in the box on the screen. Or, if you do not see the box on your screen, click on "comments".

Until next time on Unsolved Mysteries.

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A Few Facts You May Not Have Known About Jackie Robinson . . . As Told by Brandon

"Journal Make Up"
02/04/02
Brandon

Jakie Robinson was a famous base ball player. She hit a lot of home runs. She could hit the ball the best on her team. She could hit a ball out of a ball park. That is some things on Jackie robinson.*


*This delicious example of a homework assignment tumbled out of one of Tad's library books.

Extra, Extra! Husband Uses Craigslist to Turn New Leaf

This just in: Avid collector, Tad Luedeke, is quote turning over a new leaf, end quote, and selling many of his old toys.

Luedeke says, and I quote, You know where my stuff is now? It's sitting in boxes in the corner. And it's going to keep sitting there. End quote.

He went on to say, quote, I just realized I have too much stuff and no use for it anymore. End quote.

The list of items to go up for sale soon on Craigslist include

HeroScape Collection
Magic the Gathering cards (an estimated 5 decks)
Nerf Magstrike
Nerf Recon
Nerf Titan Launcher with Hornet and Scout
Pirates of the Spanish Main game collection
Mage Knight collection


When asked why he's doing this, Luedeke said, quote, I'm a new man. I'm married. Oh, and this really cool game called Arcane Legions is coming out soon and I want to be sure to have enough money so that I can buy a bunch right away. So put it on your blog in case anyone wants to buy some stuff. End quote.

He later revealed that in two years' time even his Arcane Legions items would probably be for sale.

Reporting from Dreamland, this is Dandi Mandi, wondering whoare you and what have you done with my husband?

Back to you, reality.

Honeymoon's Over: Day 99

Earlier today . . .

I sat down at the computer and opened a game of MahJong solitaire. The tiles fell, but there wasn't any sound.

My hands flew to the computer's speakers, adjusting the volume and frantically reaching for the area where a port for earphones should have been.

"What? No . . . no!!"

The last of the tiles fell. Sound was completely absent.

"Tad?"

Nothing.

"TAD?"

"What?" he asked, turning briefly from his XBox game.

"Why isn't there any sound?" I screamed at him.

"My earphones are in."

"What?!"

"I was using them."

Again, I waved my hands where the earphone plug should have been. There wasn't anything there, and the poor lighting prevented me from seeing much.

"You sure they're in?"

"Yeah."

But I couldn't find them. Too frustrated to ask for assistance, I finished my game without any sound and closed out the program.


A few hours later . . .

I came back to the computer and this time examined the tower. Sure enough, earphones were plugged into the port. I removed them.

I fired up MahJong, cranked up the volume, and sighed in happiness as the tiles trickled down the screen.

"Mmmmm," I smiled. "It sounds like rain. The most beautiful sound in the world."

Tad turned from his XBox game, and stared at me for a moment. "Is that why you freaked out earlier when the earphones were plugged in? Because you couldn't hear the tiles falling?"

"Yeah," I admitted. Then, to justify my actions, said, "It's my favorite sound in the world. I love it and am sad when I can't hear it."

"So that's why you always freak out about the volume."

"Yes."

He looked at me for a few seconds, blinked a few times . . . and then turned back to his game.

Word Games

Amanda's Dictionary

Word Barnacle: a player in scrabble who alters existing words just enough to collect a substantial reward. The most well-known Barnacle is Joshua B. Hornbarger.

Building Dweller: a player in Call of Duty or Halo or any shooting game who sits in buildings and shoots the poor souls below. I hate these players.

Shooting Game: a video game in which players shoot each other.

Origins Game Convention: a yearly event that draws gamers from their basements and prompts them to walk around in leather corsetts while purchasing overpriced games. This is Tad's favorite summer event.

***

Tonight, Tad and I tried out a few of his games. One was called "Word on the Street" and was a favorite of mine because it eliminates the possibility of having Word Barnacles. Players must choose a word that allows them to pull as many letters as possible to their side of the board....funny sounding, yes, but really fun.

During the second round, Tad starting doing poorly. He couldn't spell words like "lettuce" and was having a hard time coming up with word ideas.

Finally, I said something.

"Do you just want to quit?"

"No, you're about to win. Let's just finish."

"I don't want you to have to play if you're frustrated."

"I just can't think right!"

"I know, what's going on?"

"This one word has been stuck in my head for the past three rounds and it's all I can think of."

"What is it."

He paused, and then almost shyly as if offering me a most precious gem, said, "Marmalade."

Sunday Musings: MahJong, Mah-long Lost Love

In high school I had a problem with an addiction to Minesweeper. I'd fall asleep thinking up different and difficult scenarios and how I'd click my way out. I'd go over and over what it mean if a number 3 was surrounded by 5 blocks and adjacent to a number 2. Over and over until my top scores looked something like:

10 seconds Beginner
40 seconds Intermediate
170 seconds Expert

I knew the game and the math behind it like the back of my hand. And now, when I sleep, I see this:

Fortunately, there's not as much math behind this and the sheer number of differing tiles makes it hard to imagine game scenarios. Yet, the obsession is just as bad. I simply HAVE to get a game or 2 in before bed . . . after a run . . . while making dinner . . . during blogging . . .

And I find myself racing home from work to try out the Dragon or Turtle (pictured above).

Believe it or not, though, I didn't check to see whether MahJong Solitaire was on my work laptop until Tad asked earlier this week.

It's not. Looks as though I'll be keeping my job.