Thursday, December 6, 2012

Emo Batman

If I were any good at making those spliced-up vids that make fun of huge blockbuster movies, I'd make one called "Emo Batman." Because as I sit here, Tad is blaring Dark Knight Rises in the adjoining room, and I cannot help but think about how Batman is really just a poster child for the emo lifestyle.

Here we have a rich, good looking guy, who despite some unfortunate events in life, has really turned things around for himself. But is that enough? Is that ever enough? No. Somehow, he always finds a reason to brood. To be sad and introspective.

Batman always finds a reason to go out and get punched in the face. It's as if he wants to get the crap beat out of him. He wants this so that he can feel sad and have a Bella Swan-sized depression montage so he can get an Alfred pep talk (who doesn't want one of those?) so that he can be angry at the fact that yet again, the old man is right, so that he can mope some more, only to rally himself at the last moment to get his act together, come out of his emo slump and do what normal people would have done from the get-go.

In Dark Knight Rises, that "thing that normal people would have done long from the get-go" is to actually train before a fight.

Brilliant, emo Batman. Glad you figured that one out.

Now maybe I'm remembering the movies incorrectly. Maybe he's far less emo in the other movies than he is in the third. I can't really remember them clearly, considering the first one I saw in a Turkish movie theater, and the second, well, I was one of those people who were unjustifiably sad about Heath Ledger's death.

So please, correct me if my memory is failing me and emo-ing things way up when in reality they maybe weren't that emo. At which point I will retract these statements and instead talk about how much I want to put together a video splice that shows Tom Hardy as I originally knew Heathcliff.

Yep. Totally made Tad suffer through this movie.

Also, I think the guy who plays Linton is the main cop from Walking Dead!!


  1. This is great. I loved Dark Knight Rises but I had so many issues like, apparently it takes two seconds to fully rehabilate and restructure a severed spine when its sticking out. PUNCH all better! LOL but its great to say the least Nolan knows how to do it but haha I guess you know what im thinking

  2. Holy smokes, Batman....Tom Hardy was Heathcliff?! Mind blown.

  3. YES, Raela!!! Imaging Bane running the moors... "Cathy! Cathy!"

  4. To me, Tom Hardy is Shinzon in Star Trek: Nemesis. That's where I first met him. Well, actually I first met him in Band of Brothers, but I *remember* him in Nemesis. Which I think is brilliant and one of the best ST movies EVER.

    I too was unreasonably sad about Heath Ledger's death. And SO HAPPY when he won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar. He earned every ounce of that gold statue.

  5. I didn't know he was in Band of Brothers!!

  6. According to IMDB he is. I don't remember him in there, but it's also been awhile since I watched it.