Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Usefull Talents

So I just found out that Tad can kick high. Really high. Chuck-Norris-above-your-head high. And he doesn’t take Pilates. And he’s never been in sports. And I swear he can’t touch his toes or even sit Indian-style, for that matter.

Just a few stretches and BAM! His foot comes up above his head. Again. And again. And a fourth time, if he desires.

It’s the strangest thing. And while some may call this a useless talent, I see it as huge life-potential.

My husband is destined to be an NFL kicker.

I’m going to start having him practice. Then, as soon as he’s mind-blowingly good, we’ll find a team who could not only use a better kicker, but whose current kicker has about a year left on his contract. Then, we’ll make our way into one of their pre-season practices and Tad will kick for them. And they’ll see such potential, they’ll add him as a walk-on and groom him to take over the position after the year is up and their current kicker’s contract has run out.

And then I’ll sit in the section where all the wives sit and look extra concerned when the camera is on me and Tad will have action figures and replica jerseys because he’ll be the ever-loved underdog and he’ll be in video games (certainly one of his dreams) and I’ll cause scandal by wearing Bears jerseys (even though Tad will play for the Vikings or the Bengals) and crashing White House events (take THAT Secret Service) and showing up to restaurants without my wedding ring (this is very possible considering the number of times I have lost it to date).

The sky is the limit.

So now I’m compelled to compile my list of useless talents…but in the meantime, what are yours? And how could they be turned into useFULL talents?


  1. Hahaha amanda.....Butchering the crap out of songs and giving them for birthdays analogys FOR EVERYTHING comparisons Irish Danceing Voices impersenations.....:) there are just a few :D Entertainment industry the end :)

  2. Based on your prior confession of having no spelling conscience whatsoever, I will point out that spelling is a useFUL talent.


  3. I would also like to add there were no red squigglies when it typed it up in Word.