Friday, January 15, 2010

Experimenting with Size 8

Tomorrow I find out if it's possible for a person to go on living without breathing for, say, six hours. In anticipation for this big event I have:

1) Worked out less
2) Eaten more
3) Blogged less
4) Worked more
5) Worried way more

I expect to go into a state of shock approximately one hour into the study. By hour two, I will begin to feel dizzy, accompanied by possible waves of nausea, neurosis and psychosis. By hour two and a half, I will lose all feeling in my feet and hands. This will slowly spread to my legs and arms and by hour four, I will, unbeknownst to those around me, move in and out of consciousness. At a quarter past hour four I will enter a preliminary stage of nirvana, and by hour five I will be frolicking in fields of wildflowers and dancing with sea lions. Only to come back to reality once hour six hits and my dress is unzipped.

Yes. Tomorrow is Ashlee's wedding, and my dress is way way way too tight.


  1. ah man im invited to that one but i cant go :P tell ashelee best of luck and have fun!!!! there is that jillian michaels dvd 30 day shred and one day you can loose a lb try that :)

  2. thankfully, your expectations were way off. you survived the dress and looked awesome doing it

    when do we get pics??

  3. I love this! You have no idea what you're talking about until the very last line! I thought you were about to go scuba diving or something!
    I remember a time when I was a pregnant bridesmaid, and "squeeze" was putting it lightly. That dress almost sent me into labor!! Thanks for the Friday morning giggle! :)

  4. Read the title and thought, shoes. Read your first line and forgot the title and the shoes. Read the first paragraph again just to be sure I understood what you were talking about. I didn't, but I wanted to. Got to the last line, smiled big, and started all over. Then I noticed the title again. Got it. LOVED it!

  5. You are wonderful! Read this to your daughter one day when she's asked to be a bridesmaid.

  6. Why do we do that to ourselves? Pride? More likely, after shopping for a million years and finally find the perfect dress, in a size a little too small, we figure we can make it work. It's only one day, right? Notice how comfortable most mens' clothes are compared to women's? Hmmm....something to think about. Great story, Amanda.