Thursday, June 24, 2010

Enemies of the State of Happy Living

I think it’s very good to have a list of enemies. Very handy when you are having trouble knowing who to believe or when you’re bored at night and want to read something that will get you riled up or when you just want someone to know, by passive aggressively saying: “I’m watching you!”, that you’re not happy with them.

I got this idea from President Obama, who apparently has his own list of enemies, and because he's the president, I think it's only fitting that we all follow suit.

Amanda Luedeke Enemies List

1. Mosquitoes - they make us afraid to go out at night.
2. The sun when it's really bright and glaring at you in the eyeballs - it burns our corneas
3. Paper cuts - they ruined postal mail
4. People who don't know how to merge (a-hem, EVERY DRIVER IN INDIANA) - they make
things more dangerous than they have to be
5. Asian carp - they're invading Lake Michigan
6. Giant fish (in general) - they make me scared to live
7. Humidity - misery is its only asset
8. Excel - it insists on having codes instead of buttons
9. BP - it doesn't think animal murder is a bad thing
10. Email inboxes that will never empty - they take away from enjoying time online
11. European cars - they cost more than they're worth
12. Buzz cuts - they don't do anything for anyone's looks (except Justin Timberlake)
13. Shakespeare - he cast a spell on high school teachers and now we all must suffer
14. Mushrooms - they grow on poop
15. Calories - they make everyone feel guilty and then tell McDonald's to stop selling Happy Meal Toys (what's up with that?!)

That’s all I’ve got for now. Can’t keep going without beginning to question the meaning of life …

How about you, dear reader? What makes your list?


  1. you inspire me amanda....alot...:D

  2. +1 for Asian carp reference.

    I'd like to add flat tires that cannot be patched, thus having to buy a new tire and destroying your budget for the week.

  3. Okay, Amanda. I'm totally with you on:
    --Endless email - It's the enemy I face daily. It seeks to destroy my life. I must vanquish this foe before it's too late and I meld with the computer like Jimmy Jet did with his TV Set.
    --The bright sun - I almost crashed the other day trying to drive down the street at 20mph. I couldn't see anything.
    --People who don't know how to merge - I lived in Los Angeles for nine years. People are crazy and lethal.
    --Mushrooms are also just plain evil.
    --I have a mosquito bite on my big toe right now. I think this was also used as a form of medieval torture.

    And I'd like to add:
    --Spiders. *shudders* This requires no further explanation, imo.
    --children who wake up at 5am every day, including the summer and weekends. They must be destroyed, no matter how cute they are.
    --Hair in the shower drain that is not the color of my hair. That just freaks me out, even though I live with these people...
    --Unflushed toilets - Seriously. How old does a kid have to be to remember to flush? Ew.
    --Piles of dishes and laundry that NEVER GO AWAY.
    --Parents who don't let their kids come to youth group because there are non Christian kids there - Okay, people. I get that you are worried for your kids, but how are other teens going to get it if there are no peers around being salt and light? I'm just sayin'.
    --Sushi - It's raw fish. Need I say more. Double ew.

  4. Oh goodness, Jill ... I'm certain that my list will infinitely increase if I/when I have kids.

  5. Jill's toilet comment made me laugh! I have three little boys. It'd be nice if they learn how to aim somewhat soon. lol
    Sorry about your inbox. That would drive me nuts!