the benefits of married life

Come to find out, I do the dishes whilst standing on one foot.

I realized this when a precariously-placed glass glass fell from the drying rack, bounced off the countertop and shattered on the floor at my feet. Or, I should say foot. Because while one of my feet was planted firmly on the ground (in fear of little glass bits trickling underneath it), the other was up in the air.

I was stranded. On one foot. One bare foot, I might add.

But then, my husband’s superhero theme music began playing.

He whooshed in, dustpan and broom in hand, rested my raised foot on a chair, and began collecting and sweeping the glass shards that threatened my life.

As soon as the floor was safe, he swooshed out and resumed his disguise as an avid video game player with selective hearing.

All this to say, if you are thinking of placing a very breakable glass glass precariously on the drying rack, don’t. Simply walk away while walking is still an option.

But, if you DO place a very breakable glass glass precariously on the drying rack, only do so when your husband is present and only if he has superhero theme music. Otherwise you may have to navigate the glass shard minefield alone.

And you will fail, my friend. You will fail.