Why I am the worst Ironman in the world.

It wasn't because my shirt came out more wrinkled than before I pressed and finagled it.

It wasn't the fact that I ignored my iron's beeps, thinking it was my cell phone (which wasn't even in the room because I had left it at work).

It wasn't the extreme amount of time it took me on two garments (1 hour).

It wasn't the water droplets that kept falling out onto my garments because I kept accidentally nudging the spray button.

It wasn't even my inability to prevent the ironing board from rocking and almost knocking my piping hot iron to the ground.

No. It wasn't any of those things.

It was the fact that when I was done and went to unplug the iron, there the cord sat, a foot away from the socket. Come to find out, the beeping I had been hearing twenty minutes before calling it a day was actually the iron telling me that it was shutting down. It had euthanized itself, pulling the cord out of anguish.

August 12
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August 13
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Total: 5,816