Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Curious City of Fort Wayne

Things I find strange about Fort Wayne and Fort Waynians:

1) The streets flood within seconds. I am not even joking here. Seconds. I have oftentimes thought that Fort Wayne would be better off as a paddy field.
2) It is not safe to drive in the outermost lanes, because at any given moment they WILL turn into turn-only lanes. I will never forget when an old lady in church said that she wasn't afraid of anything...except for when the lanes become turn-only lanes and you don't have enough time to correct the problem.
3) Give the people of Fort Wayne a reason to bust out their lawn chairs, and they'll come in droves. DROVES. It could be the hottest day ever recorded on the face of the planet, and there they'll be, dragging their super-sleek chair-in-a-bag out to the middle of a grassy knoll to watch some old guys play Beach Boys covers.
4) They named their baseball team the Tin Caps, seemingly oblivious to the obvious nickname of the Pot Heads.
5) There is a Mexican restaurant on every block.
6) During the summer, there is a festival every week. I kid you not. Greek Fest, Latin Fest, Rib Fest, German Fest, Three Rivers Festival, etc.
7) The people of Fort Wayne rallied against spending millions of taxpayer dollars to fix up dilapidated schools and instead decided to build the ultimate minor league baseball stadium.
8) From the baseball stadium, the city looks unAmerican. Maybe Balkan. Or Russian. And there is a particular apartment building by the Anthony St. Wal-Mart that looks like it was hauled over here from Somalia.
9) There is only one true housing project that I know of. Only one. I am used to three or more.
10) Everyone blows red lights. A cop could be right there, waiting for his light to turn green and I guarantee someone will blow through the red without getting pulled over.

. . . And to think I got my license suspended for being rear-ended.


  1. #3 -- Three Rivers Festival parade, there was a little old lady sitting in her lawn chair, waiting, at 4 in the morning.

    #6 -- You say that like it's a bad thing...

    #8 -- Wow, there is a bit of an Eastern European feel, isn't there.

  2. you forgot #11 and #12 .

    #11. Fort Wayne had the best school for the happening people. Infact if we all didnt go there Fort Wayne would suck.

    #12.In fort Wayne you met the best people ever from ALL OVER THE PLACE one from Colorado, one in Minnesota, One from California (who stupidly lives in IL) and lots from Defiance Ohio. :) I miss you guys.....

  3. As far as #7 goes, you have to understand--most of the Fort Wayne residents did not want the stadium. We were happy with our old stadium. The city government doesn't really care what we say (or else they would be tearing the prettiest part of Ft. Wayne up as I speak.)
    Other than that, your super-accurate comments made me laugh hysterically.
    -Katie Shappell

  4. Katie - thank you for sharing about the old woman. It made my day.

    Katie Shappell - I agree wholeheartedly...the government here calls the shots and only turns to the people of fort wayne for direction when they need to rely on us to vote DOWN ideas. It's just so silly, when you stop to think that the city denied better schools and instead spent a zillion dollars on entertainment. So so silly.
    Glad I could make you laugh!

  5. in relation to #2, you forgot to note that streets also change names randomly (multiple times for some of them) and also have a habit of becoming one-way streets, just out of the blue ... and only for a few blocks

    stupid fort wayne.