Wednesday, June 3, 2009

11 Tips for when you or someone behind you takes their eyes off the road.

Mary Jane has been compromised. A young man rear-ended her today and now she has scratches on her butt. Silver scratches.

In this fiasco, I found out a few helpful things:

1) If someone hits you and then suggests that you both 'pull over wherever', make sure that they lead the way. The last thing you want is for them to take off and leave you with a broken car. (This did not happen to me, but there was a definite panic moment in which I realized it was very stupid of me to assume he'd follow me into the parking lot).

2) Saying "I got screwed over once" is a perfectly good way to let the other person know that although they may not want you to call the police, you simply HAVE to do it and it has nothing to do with them personally.

3) It IS possible to do the whole "Hello? He- Hello? Can you hear me? Hello? Is anyone there?" when calling 9-1-1. Just stay on the line, they'll start talking eventually.

4) Approaching the police officer by saying "Ok, you're probably going to mad at me" when handing off your identification items isn't the best idea because they don't think in normal people terms and they DEFINITELY don't detect lightheartedness. Everything's business. (Why did I say that to them? See #4 and #5 below).

5) While it may seem shady to be operating under two names, it's totally okay! My drivers license has me as Amanda Luedeke while my insurance card has me as Amanda Heinsch. The officer didn't reprimand me one bit. (There's some kind of 30 day wedding window that saved my butt . . . and, having done the name change thing herself, she understood my laziness).

6) Don't freak out if your insurance card is expired. It doesn't seem to matter. (A citation COULD show up in the mail, but I'm doubtful).

7) It's possible to be hit by a person who doesn't try to weasel out of it and instead tips you off that you're looking at receiving a fat check from your insurance company. And then they tell you to pocket it.

8) Volkswagon Jetta's are indestructable tanks. Would Hitler construct anything less? The radio didn't go whack, the glove box stayed shut, and the bumper said "Hey! If you're gonna hit me, fool, then I'm gonna steal some of your paint!"

9) You can order a copy of the police report online. How technologically advanced of them.

10) Some female police officers have flawless skin.

11) While it's nice to get to know your assailant, it's best to keep talk superficial. Next thing you know, they'll be telling you about how their dad's been divorced 5 times and how they just gave up drinking a month and a half ago and how they wished they'd have gone to school and still think about going every now and then and how again did you say your friend gave up drinking? Cuz it's hard, man. Real hard.

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