Icy, then Hot.

I have whiplash.

To celebrate, Tad offered to apply IcyHot to the sore muscles. Never having a reason to try the substance, I eagerly accepted.

It felt just as I thought it would. Icy, then hot.

My favorite part, however, was and is the way it smells. Think delicous spearmint bubblegum candy. Or, more specifically, think spearmint breathmint lifesavers only less like hard candy and more like gummy, gell-like heaven.

It smelled so good and felt so IcyHot, I had to touch it.

So I did.

Then, I smelled my hand.

Mmmmm.

Put my fingers near my tongue.

Lick. . . . lick, lick . . . .lick.

Tad's eyes popped out of his head. "Don't eat it! Your tongue will go IcyHot!"

"Uh oh. Too late."

"No!"

"My tongue AND lips are IcyHot!"

"I hope it's not toxic." He grabbed the box. "External use only."

"If there's no directions on how to flush it out, then it can't hurt me," I reasoned, silently.

"Told you not to eat it," he said.

"Sorry."

Moments later, while my lips were numb and my tongue swollen, my eye itched.

I raised my hand.

"No!" Tad yelled.

But it was too late. My eyeball had become IcyHot as well.