Of Vampires, Aliens and Super Evil Guys

Today, for some unknown and crazy reason, I decided upon the following:

1) That my lunch-time Easy Mac would be best enjoyed outside, and
2) That I should give Twilight another try.

For anyone who claims to know anything about me, you'd quickly remember that:

1) I hate nature, and avoid the outdoors like the plague, and
2) I have zero tolerance for poorly-written, teenage faux-smut.

I cannot explain this strange activity other than to suggest that an alien life form has overtaken my body. Seriously. Watch it shoot out of my stomach.

All we can do now is hope and pray that:

1) When the mothership comes to retrieve its exiled Being it does so in my sleep, causing minimal pain, and
2) I don't completely bore you to death with my running commentary about how bad Twilight is and how ashamed Stephenie Meyer should be.

*As I was thinking about how nice it would be if the mothership would take Kim Jong-il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad along for the ride, I realized that, based upon his Wikipedia photo, the role of Ahmadinejad in any movie should be played by Steve Carell.